Enhance Productions

Movie Review: Red One

   

Written by:

jaro235

Sucks the Spirit Out of Christmas

Red One is Rated PG-13 for action, some violence, and language.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Enhance Ticket Rating:
10/50 Tickets

Synopsis

North Pole Head of Security Callum Drift has to search for Santa Claus after he has been mysteriously kidnapped. Drift must team up with level four naughty lister Jack O’Malley in order to track Santa’s whereabouts. The two men learn that they need to stop a greater evil who wants to make the world “nicer,” by targeting anyone who has ever been naughty.

What Happened…

I was originally gonna see Anora, but the projector was malfunctioning the day I went to see it, so the theater staff offered us refunds or the chance to see another film. I decided to watch Red One with Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans because I like the idea of a Christmas action-packed blockbuster and it also has J.K. Simmons as Santa Claus. It cannot be that bad right? Right?

The Good:

Oh boy… let me start with a couple of positives. Chris Evans is the best part of the movie as he is the only main actor who looks like he is having any fun with this movie. He has some fun moments and a somewhat heartfelt speech to his son. Evans is not groundbreaking here, but he is kind of fun to watch compared to almost everyone else. Kristofer Hivju is pretty fun as Krampus and his makeup for the creature looks fantastic. Krampus is by far the best looking part of the movie because of the interesting design and solid practical effects. The scenes with Krampus are also some of the few amusing parts of the film.

Some of the technology in this movie is pretty cool, such as the guns that freeze people and the gadgets that can turn toys into life at a much bigger size. I really liked listening to some classic Christmas music, especially the songs from Mariah Carey. It is so fun to listen to her versions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) on the big screen. The ending is really cool with how Santa Claus delivers presents. There is a scene where a guy gets possessed by the villain that made for some campy fun expressions and line delivery… yeah that’s all I got.

The Bad (Pretty Much Everything Else…):

This Christmas juggernaut cost a quarter of a billion dollars and all it had to do was be an entertaining holiday blockbuster. Jake Kasdan’s Red One might be the worst movie I have seen in theaters in over a decade. First of all, this movie is so ugly to look at in nearly every frame. For a Christmas movie, the colors look so drab and monochromatic not fitting the theme of the film at all. It looks like a bland TV movie for the most part. The CGI is not great and while some of the creatures have cool designs they look pretty fake. 

What really makes this movie look awful though is the lighting. It is one of the worst lit movies I have ever seen and it drags all of the visual aspects down. Not only does the lighting make the cinematography by Dan Mindel look even plainer than it already looks, but it is so dim-looking that it makes it harder to make out what is happening in the action scenes and visuals. There are some really cool creature designs and makeup effects that are paired with the worst lit rooms.

Despite such a huge budget, the action scenes are subpar at best. Some of them have a glimpse of fun with how they use the gadgets and how Cal and Jack defeat their enemies by finding their weaknesses, but the fights are poorly shot and over-edited. The climax has some moments that could look cool, but the lighting is so dim that it is hard to make out what is happening and to enjoy it. The first chase scene is laughably bad effects-wise and again with the dim lighting. Even if you wanted to just watch this movie for some cool Christmas set pieces, you will be disappointed with what the movie offers.

The story could have been this awesome Christmas spectacle with some heartwarming moments, clever use of Christmas mythology and Christmas cheer, but instead it is a bland cliched road-trip comedy with corny dialogue and a lot of scenes with Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson talking in the car. It is an overlong quest to find Santa Claus with two unlikable people bickering at each other non-stop who only at best learn to tolerate each other. There are so many chances this movie has to show off some cool moments of Christmas mythology in fun ways and it wastes all of them except for the scene with Krampus. 

The tone of the movie is really corny as I feel that this is a kids movie that got the PG-13 rating just to be a little edgy at times and to say a few curse words. The humor is very cringeworthy with only a couple lines of dialogue or gags making me chuckle, at best. I think I may have gotten more chuckles out of Madame Web than this. The bad comedy just makes this movie, that feels like it is already moving at a snail’s pace, feel even longer.

Issues with Cast

I said Chris Evans is one of the few bright spots in the movie and I stand by that, but that is more for him as an actor than his character Jack. Jack is not a likable protagonist at all, to put it lightly. He is a terrible father who never shows care for his child until the plot requires it. He is dismissive towards pretty much every person he talks to and he is a criminal who only does the right thing because he is forced to. There are some sweet moments with Jack and he has some of the funnier lines mainly because of Evans’ delivery, but he is overall not a likable or sympathetic protagonist.

This movie has a solid cast but aside from Evans and Hivju, everyone else either gives bad performances or they are wasted. The Rock plays as the same character as he does in most of his movies, but he is oddly more unlikable and stoic here. Dwayne Johnson looks so bored to be here mainly because he plays as a charmless plank of wood of a character who only exists to argue with Evans’ character. Despite Johnson hyping up the film in promos and even comparing it to Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer, Johnson’s excitement does not show in his acting here (Jay). Even fans of The Rock will probably have a hard time enjoying him in this movie.

Another problem with this movie is that Johnson and Evans have no on-screen chemistry. They always bicker and the banter is not witty or fun to watch. These two men seem like they would rather hang out with anyone else than each other. It does not help that one actor is playing as a plank of wood and the other is doing his best to make an unlikable character charismatic.

What angers me the most with Red One is how it unforgivably wastes J.K. Simmons as Santa Claus. Simmons is capable of turning any role into gold no matter how bad the material is, but this movie shoves him aside and gives him absolutely nothing to work with after the first ten minutes until the end. The worst part is that the few scenes with Simmons in it are really fun and kind of heartwarming, especially when he is chatting with kids at a store. Simmons could have saved this film if he had a bigger presence, but he is shoved aside for most of the movie. Why on Earth would you even cast Simmons at this point if you are not gonna utilize him properly?

As for the rest of the cast, Lucy Liu phones it in as the director of M.O.R.A. in just about every scene she is in, but she does at least get a cool fight in right before the climax. Bonnie Hunt as Mrs. Claus is okay, but she gets little to do. Garcia the Polar Bear seems like he would be a fun character, but he is barely in the film despite being heavily advertised. 

Then there is the villain played by Kiernan Shipka. Her motive is interesting on paper trying to punish anyone who has ever been naughty to make the world “nicer.” The problem with this is that she ultimately becomes a bit generic in the final act and breaking free of her punishment is too easy. Grýla is far from the worst villain I have seen, but she could have been so much better and Shipka’s stiff performance does not help make her any more frightening.

Jingle Bells?

Although this movie has some nice Christmas tracks throughout the runtime, the musical score by Henry Jackman is rather unremarkable. It is not terrible, but there are no memorable tunes from the score. It feels like music I could hear in any other big budget film.

Final Thoughts

With such a big budget, interesting ideas, a star-studded cast and a very talented crew, this should have been two hours of Christmas bliss. Instead, Red One takes the joy right out of the holiday. I cannot remember the last time I watched a movie in theaters with such a stone-faced reaction, but this made for one of the least enjoyable theater experiences I have ever had. I wanted to like this movie or at least say more positive things about it even if it was not my first choice to watch, but I cannot bring myself to like it. I enjoyed Director Jake Kasdan’s two Jumanji movies a lot so I have no idea what happened here. 

I would not even recommend it as background noise because I can think of so many movies that would be better to have in the background than this. This is the kind of movie that would make any fan of Christmas say bah humbug!

At the very least, I did end up seeing Anora the next day…

This article was written by Enhance’s friend Jared Jacoby and edited by team member Sidney J Floyd-Armstrong. Be sure to subscribe and keep an eye on the blog for more from our team and for more movie and video game reviews from Jared!

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